Last week I worked only two days out of five – one day was admittedly a vacation day (I spent it cleaning a house that our family wants to rent out). The other two days I spent taking my dad to doctor appointments.
His regular doctor is telling me that it is time to let dad rest. It is no longer wise to keep encouraging him to walk and exercise each day. If he prefers a wheel chair to his walker, it is time for me to accept it.
She said it more kindly than the way I am saying it. I have a tendency to state things as they are. Perhaps I could be described as blunt.
What really had me crying in the doctors office however wasn’t necessarily that piece of information. It was when they gave me the depression scale and told me I could help dad with it. I read it to him and became increasingly upset as he continued to circle the statements as true. Things like, “I feel down much of the time.” The killer for me was when he circled yes to, “I feel like I am letting my family down.” I said, “Dad, how could you be letting us down? Why would you feel that way?”
And of course like all the other times I ask a question, he either isn’t hearing me, or he cannot answer. My dad is as hard of hearing as any human being can be. He wears hearing aids that don’t do much. The audio department in the clinic says these are the best kind of hearing aids for my dad, but really, it is amazing what he cannot hear. Amazing and depressing.
So, the biggest thing that I have gotten from reading, “Imagine Heaven” by John Burke is this: Life on earth is all about love. The more we can love others the closer we are to fulfilling our purpose here on earth.
It is easy to love family (for me anyway). And I would imagine that we are meant to make a difference for those that we come in contact with during our every day lives.
But I have seen others love more. I have seen others give so much that I can’t imagine how they have anything left. How do they do that? How do they find the energy? If I don’t have that kind of energy, is that OK?
Is it possible that I am no different than these others? That perhaps they cry easily too? That perhaps they are just as worn out as I am?
Check out Revelation 21:4; “The earth will change. There will be no fear, no hatred, and no hunger or pain. Only love” Quote from page 171 of “Imagine Heaven.”
Ready for your research project? Google Akiane’s paintings of “The Prince of Peace” and “Father Forgive Me.” Akiane’s story is in the book, “Imagine Heaven.”
That’s it for now.